I’m writing a novel about a vegan vampire, it will be deficient in irony.
I was dating an Ornithologist.
We only communicated by Twitter.
It is unfortunate that “Chicken Soup for the Vegan Soul” sold so few copies
I was dating a vegan.
She got pissed when I called her “honey”.
My Golden Retriever had to get a prescription for Xanax.
He has a nervous tick.
Things didn’t work out.
I could not get past the fact that she had clammy hands.
I was dating an Invertebrate Zoologist.
She said that I was spineless.
Q: Why did the lobster get a prescription for Prozac?
A: He was feeling crabby.
Q: How many minimalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?